Dinner and Some Honest Words
Posted by Sarah on 27 Oct 2005 at 08:36 pm | Tagged as: Thinking Happy Thoughts
Mmmm… Does this look good or what? The cottage cheese mixed in the angel hair pasta is courtesy of Melissa, who really likes when I use her name on the Internet. She taught me how to REALLY eat pasta- in a bowl!
I’ve been thinking about blogging and why I do it; why I started in July. My life has changed immensely in this short period of time, and I guess I want to be sure that I’m doing it for the right reasons. Well, the first was to have a creative outlet (though it’s not always very creative… oh well). I think I’m upholding that end of it. Next, I wanted to keep in touch with some friends who are also technology addicts, and that’s working too. Last, I wanted to be able to write about some things that I still need to work through in real life. It’s always easier to write or type thoughts out before I speak them. This is the part I’m not actually implementing, simply because I’m afraid. I am realizing that I have friends who read this blog, and, just like real life, I don’t want them to be disappointed in me. I tend to present the parts that my family or friends will approve of or pat me on the back for. So for me, this post signals that I want to be as open as I can in writing so that I can transfer it into my living, breathing, speaking to another human face, life. I don’t want to hold back- and if you’re reading this, and continue to read, you are choosing to, despite the disappointments I may throw your way.
I cannot write simply to be read; if I want to be genuine, I have to write my true thoughts as they come to me. (But not ALL… there are some things which must remain sacred!)
Truth: I had a hard time last weekend, and I’m worried about this one coming up. There’s an incredible amount of time to be wasted feeling sorry for oneself when you are lonely. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends, ones I wish I could see more of, and life has taken many of us apart for varying reasons. I understand this. I don’t intend to guilt any of my friends reading this into calling me up, or asking me out for coffee. Rather, I feel like I am being stretched and challenged by this alone time, and I realize that I am finally learning to reach out to others instead of simply waiting to be reached at.
The time will most likely come, when you would be willing to give your right arm for some alone time!
I know that doesn’t always make challenging times easier to bear.
The thought of having some time to myself almost brings tears to my eyes. As a wife and mother to four, my life is not my own. I will probably never have an entire weekend to myself.
Hang in there and I know you are trying to embrace the stage of life you are in. It is what I have to do too. No matter where we are in life, there are hills and valleys. No doubt God is at work in and through you.
I do think that it is a Godly principle to give to receive. The worldly view seems to be the opposite.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Hang in there.
You are still pretty young. Although I had my first child at 26 and the next at 29, I didn’t marry. It took me 7 more years after that to find my best friend and soul mate. Don’t beat yourself up and don’t settle…wait for the person you know you can’t live without, it’s worth it. I finally found mine.
)(Don’t take this the wrong way, I love my kids,and woulnd’t trade them for the world, but I did it all backwards)
If I could do it again, I would wait on the kids too….
Incedently, my Brother is single and lives in Denver…
Jules,
I know that many of these things are true- “life stages” sometimes seem like they may stretch infinitely, but I know that they will not.
And- I have had a great weekend so far. I’m trying to inject myself into the situations that I’m afraid of. Meeting new people is one of those, but it’s one of the only known antedotes to loneliness.
Kim,
Thanks for the encouraging words. You’re right, I am young.
I guess this isn’t necessarily about finding a mate as much as it is about finding friendships. They seem to be in short supply these days!
Yeah, you could find a mate and still be lonely for girlfriends. They are irriplaceable. I would be very lonely without my friends. Even if your husband is your bestest friend, as mine is, we still need our girlfriends.God knows this and I pray he will bring you strong, fun friendships to color your life! Women are awesome!
Geez, Sarah, we seem to be in similar life phases. “I’m trying to inject myself into the situations that I’m afraid of. Meeting new people is one of those.” Why’s that so hard for us to do?!
I don’t know why, Rob. I don’t think I’m an anti-social person at all, but I get anxious about going to church and trying to connect with the people I met from the week before, and the week before that. The similar life stages thing is probably why I read your blog in the first place; because you spoke of the same things I was going through on one of the first pages I found.