Cool Cucumber

A Narrow Focus

Posted by Sarah on 08 Apr 2006 at 10:18 am | Tagged as: Recaps

12 Responses to “A Narrow Focus”

1. on 08 Apr 2006 at 10:53 am # Carl V.
   
   

   I always wonder about that. I personally have liked it (on those rare occasions when I’ve actually committed to an exercise plan) when someone notices and says something. It seems like a weird catch 22…unless you end up looking like one of those anorexic celebs then of course you look great if you’ve lost weight…seems weird that someone would get offended like that but life is like that I guess. Better than greeting the person with a “Hey fattie, long time no see”

2. on 09 Apr 2006 at 9:36 pm # Mary
   
   

   I think you should only say it to close friends unless the person has lost an amazing amount of weight. I have had people say it when I was up and down in my weight and it gets annoying. I feel like my obsession with my weight is justified by someone who thinks I need to lose weight. hmm…

3. on 09 Apr 2006 at 9:49 pm # Sarah
   
   

   Mary, I agree you can say that to a close friend but not to someone you rarely see. It’s annoying because… well, sometimes you haven’t lost weight. And because sometimes the implication is, “Wow, you look SOOO much better than time I saw you.”

4. on 10 Apr 2006 at 2:12 am # Mark
   
   

   or, “Man, your greasy face is spewing forth a lot fewer zits these days!” That one really hurts- I completely regret saying it to that judge… Extreme as this “example” is, it’s pretty much in the same vein as the weight comment. Jerks!

5. on 10 Apr 2006 at 7:54 am # Jules
   
   

   After I had Anjelia, it took me a year to lose the majority of my baby weight. (It seems some of it never goes away) I welcomed the weight loss comments at that point!!! I understand what your saying though Sarah. It’s a good reminder to be careful with my words. Uugh, that’s so hard to keep control of.

   I am really sensitive about comments people make distinguishing my adopted children from my birth children. I get hurt and angry really easily.

6. on 10 Apr 2006 at 9:15 am # Sarah
   
   

   Jules, I think the key word here would be “acquaintance.” I love compliments, but when it’s someone you don’t know well, it places an uncomfortable importance on one’s weight. It makes the one being complimented feel like that’s the only thing others notice about them. Close friends have permission to compliment (but I find that close friends don’t mention things like this, anyway).

7. on 10 Apr 2006 at 1:22 pm # Jules
   
   

   I agree Sarah.

   I just ran into someone at Wal-Mart that I grew up with and graduated high school with. When I see people from school they always look so. . . old. I forget that I am much older, as well. I think, “Oh my gosh! Do I look that much older too!” LOL

   But, I don’t say anything!

8. on 12 Apr 2006 at 3:25 pm # mel
   
   

   I had a close friend tell me the other day, “Wow, Melissa! You’ve lost a ton of weight! At least 20 pounds!” I am short. 20 pounds goes a long way. Yes, I have lost some weight, but certainly not a ton or 20 pounds for that matter! I think it’s best to be general. “You look great!”

9. on 12 Apr 2006 at 7:29 pm # Mary
   
   

   Julie, Sarah, and Mel,
   You look Great!!!

10. on 12 Apr 2006 at 7:32 pm # Mary
    
    

    Which of course does not imply that the others who commented (Carl and Mark) do not look great…especially the one to whom I am married (the older one)…see I am messing up already.

11. on 13 Apr 2006 at 6:42 am # Sarah
    
    

    Hee hee… thanks, Mary.

12. on 03 May 2006 at 10:49 pm # Margaret
    
    

    I think–you look great should cover it all! Why bring up anything else like weight, make-up, hairstyle, etc… Whenever anyone compliments my hair, I am having a particularly awful hair day. So, then I don’t trust a word they say.

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