Comments on: A Narrow Focus

By: Margaret

Margaret — Thu, 04 May 2006 03:49:00 +0000

I think–you look great should cover it all! Why bring up anything else like weight, make-up, hairstyle, etc… Whenever anyone compliments my hair, I am having a particularly awful hair day. So, then I don’t trust a word they say.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 11:42:00 +0000

Hee hee… thanks, Mary.

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 00:32:00 +0000

Which of course does not imply that the others who commented (Carl and Mark) do not look great…especially the one to whom I am married (the older one)…see I am messing up already.

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 00:29:00 +0000

Julie, Sarah, and Mel,
You look Great!!!

By: mel

mel — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 20:25:00 +0000

I had a close friend tell me the other day, “Wow, Melissa! You’ve lost a ton of weight! At least 20 pounds!” I am short. 20 pounds goes a long way. Yes, I have lost some weight, but certainly not a ton or 20 pounds for that matter! I think it’s best to be general. “You look great!”

By: Jules

Jules — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 18:22:00 +0000

I agree Sarah.

I just ran into someone at Wal-Mart that I grew up with and graduated high school with. When I see people from school they always look so. . . old. I forget that I am much older, as well. I think, “Oh my gosh! Do I look that much older too!” LOL

But, I don’t say anything!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 14:15:00 +0000

Jules, I think the key word here would be “acquaintance.” I love compliments, but when it’s someone you don’t know well, it places an uncomfortable importance on one’s weight. It makes the one being complimented feel like that’s the only thing others notice about them. Close friends have permission to compliment (but I find that close friends don’t mention things like this, anyway).

By: Jules

Jules — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 12:54:00 +0000

After I had Anjelia, it took me a year to lose the majority of my baby weight. (It seems some of it never goes away) I welcomed the weight loss comments at that point!!! I understand what your saying though Sarah. It’s a good reminder to be careful with my words. Uugh, that’s so hard to keep control of.

I am really sensitive about comments people make distinguishing my adopted children from my birth children. I get hurt and angry really easily.

By: Mark

Mark — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 07:12:00 +0000

or, “Man, your greasy face is spewing forth a lot fewer zits these days!” That one really hurts- I completely regret saying it to that judge… Extreme as this “example” is, it’s pretty much in the same vein as the weight comment. Jerks!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 02:49:00 +0000

Mary, I agree you can say that to a close friend but not to someone you rarely see. It’s annoying because… well, sometimes you haven’t lost weight. And because sometimes the implication is, “Wow, you look SOOO much better than time I saw you.”